Food Poisoning

It finally happened. I've been laid up since Friday afternoon with a pretty decent case of food poisoning. I guess that is to be expected when there is so much inexpensive and tasty food being prepared and consumed right on the street. I've thought many times that none of these places would be allowed in the US because of health department regulations. It is really amazing to see the cooking pots and even the cups, bowls and plates being scrubbed out right on the sidewalk with the rinse water poured directly into the storm sewar. I guess it's surprising that more people don't get sick.

BUT WAIT! I didn't eat anything off the street Friday. As a matter of fact, I was reasonably busy Friday and I ate very little at all. Hmmmm, let's see if we can reconstruct the day and figure out exactly where the problem lay.

I had my normal "breakfast smoothie" made by Suporn at about 8:00 AM. This is a simple dish made from fresh fruit, usually pinapple or bannana mixed in the blender with ice and milk enough to make it about the same consistency as a milk shake. It's not as fancy as the Smoothie King drinks we have at home, but I have one most every morning and I am pretty sure that it can't result in food poisoning.

After taking care of some normal morning stuff, I headed out to scope out some new places to take Brenda shopping. She has a thing for local items that are unusual for us, so I got her a book for her birthday that has pictures and explainantions of Thai cultural items both decorative/artsy and functional. As the second part of her gift I intended to take her shopping at places that might be likely to have some of these items, but first I needed to find the places. I found them, and while I was out, I had a burger... actually two cheeseburgers, fries and a coke at about 12:00 at the McDonalds at the Amarin Plaza, just down the street from the Erawan Shrine.

I eat out roughly once a day here. I like Thai food, but I am used to eating it once or twice a month, and having it once a day here is way more than I am ready for. So I usually eat lunch out, and usually at a hamburger or pizza place. If they had Taco Bell, I'd eat there too. So I eat out alot, usually in KFC, Pizza Factory, Burger King or McDonalds. Helps keep my unsophisticated palate satisfied. But by 4:00 PM my palate had gone on strike and I was headed for an evening, night and morning peppered with multiple trips to the bathroom, cold sweats and aching joints. Miserable was what it was.

Now I don't want to say that my McDonalds sandwich purchased and consumed at the Amarin Plaza Mcdonalds was the cause of my lost weekend, but it is the only thing I consumed except for a fresh fruit smoothie that day, so you be the judge.

So what people told me before I came here is still true. The street food is safe, cheap and good. Too bad they didn't tell me to watch out for Ronald.

oVo

More About Driving

I don’t drive every day here. Maybe if I did I would get used to it sooner. One interesting side affect of driving on the wrong side of the road is that it’s not just the stuff outside of the car that is wrong sided.

You can spot one of us newbies in the parking lot as we habitually head for the “driver’s side” to unlock the door. Once we realize we are on the wrong side of the car, we have to pretend that we are being courteous by opening the door for our wives. In the unfortunate event that we are alone, we have to either put our package on the passenger seat, or if we don’t have a package, we have to pretend to look for something under the seat and then smile as if to say “finally found that darn thing.”

Once out of the parking lot, you’d think that things would go a little smoother. Well, maybe. If you approach intersections slowly, you are not only driving like every other Bangkokian, but you allow yourself extra time to make sure you look right, not left for that approaching traffic. But extra time is not the only thing you need as you transition to left side driving. Everything that is on the left in your car is on the right in mine. And all on the right is… well you can guess.

It doesn’t seem like a big thing and some of it isn’t. The console with the gear selector is on your left here. No big deal. You always have plenty of time to find it and put the car in gear while you recover your dignity after opening the wrong side of the car to get in. But Blinkers are real interesting.

You use your blinkers a lot to alert other cars to your intent and to give motorcyclists who split lanes on both sides of every lane at least a small chance of surviving the day. But if you drive on the right, your blinkers are on the left side of your steering wheel and the the windshield wiper controls are on the right. So while my head is on a swivel and I am trying to find the right road and make sure no one is splitting a lane in the direction I want to turn, I reach to signal my turn and there go the wipers (swoosh.) Just turn them off right? Nope, too much going on. The car is still moving and bikes are still lane splitting, the turn is approaching and now the wipers are “swooshing” on a perfectly clear day and I am sure that everyone in Bangkok has received an instant message on their cell phones to tell them to “Look, another farang tryng to drive.”

Today after I turned on my wipers therby signalling my turn, I entered a parking lot and rolled down my window to get the parking pass I said “sawadee krap” to the attendant as the wipes went "swoosh." He smiled and said “sawadee krap” (swoosh.) As I (swoosh) drove away from the (swoosh) booth I could not for the life of me(swoosh) find the off position (swoosh) for those wipers. I did manage to find the(swoosh)(skreek) position that (swoosh)(skreek) turns on the (swoosh)(skreek) back window wiper (swoosh)(skreek). I finally gave up until (swoosh)(skreek) I got the car parked (swoosh)(skreek). As I looked around I saw five (swoosh)(skree… there it is) people looking at my car and smiling. I felt like such an idiot. My consolation is that the only way they would know is if they had at some point done the same thing themselves. Well, at least that’s what I am telling myself.

The picture here is a typical turn. This one happens to be a U turn but it is the same for any right hand turn here. Wait for a gap and then hit it. The amazing thing is that this happens millions of times every day and you almost never hear a horn in Bangkok. Everyone just waits.

oVo

Say CHEESE

Our ship has come in, literally. Four months ago when we arrived in Bangkok, one of the first orders of business was to locate a reliable supply of......... well.... Cheese.

Brenda LOVES cheese. She loves Mild Cheddar most, but she also enjoys anything with Velveeta and her favorite snack is Cheezit crackers. She doesn't just eat stuff with cheese on it; she eats the cheese straight up, right out of the package. She stops short of gnawing it off the stick; she always makes dainty little slices but often there are no crackers or vegetables involved at all. Just Cheese.

I think most of the folks that read this BLOG know Brenda, but just in case there is someone thinking that she has to be as big as a house and shaped like a cheese wheel, let me assure you that her contract with Victoria’s Secret as an underwear model would never allow such a thing.

Anyway shortly after we arrived, we found what we thought was a store that carried Kraft American Cheese slices and Cracker Barrel cheddar cheese. We were set. We bought a couple of things and made our way back to our apartment. The next week when we went back..... WHERE IS THE CHEESE? All the store had was Thai cheese and Thai's don't like cheese. If you have ever eaten a meal cooked by someone who doesn't like to eat then you can imagine how bad cheese is when it is made by people who don't like to eat cheese. It is bad. Even their best cheddar has the color of Swiss. It is pale and not at all tasty. I predict that Thais will never like cheese if this is all they ever get.

We have been checking the cheese store pretty regularly ever since to no affect. We have developed some alternative sources for imported cheese that costs accordingly. So we have been getting by, but tonight our ship came in. Somewhere in Asia a ship literally came in loaded with cheese and some of it showed up at the store down the street. We were there tonight to pick up some Triscuits and on a whim Brenda went by the Daily Food aisle. Yes, I said Daily Food. You would know it as Dairy Food but we are in Asia. You figure it out. Suddenly while I was trailing Brenda at a respectable distance as husbands shopping with wives are known to do I hear an exclamation "CHEESE!" And as I rounded the corner there she was, standing mesmerized by the sight of, not just a little, but a LOT of Kraft and Cracker Barrel packages all eagerly waiting just for us.

We loaded up what you see in the first pic above while carefully checking expiration dates and mentally calculating how many days our supply would last making sure to neither under nor over-buy and made our way to the checkout counter.

Right now you should be wondering something like "Hmmmmmm if cheese is so hard to come by, I bet it's expensive too." Right you are Sherlock. You are looking at $52 worth of “American made gold” and by Brenda’s reckoning you could double the price and it wouldn't matter. All told tonight, two boxes of Triscuits, the Cheese, one jar of Salsa and a medium size bag of M&M's cost 2,843 baht - almost $80 and it all fit in two small grocery bags. Remember, you can eat every meal here cooked to order for about 30 Baht (less than $1) but not if you want farang food. Isn't Asia wonderful.

Oh, one more thing. When I went back to the grocery store with my camera to take the "Daily Food" picture, I also noticed this unusual pairing on one of the aisles. Proof that a sign doesn't have to be in Thai to be surprising here.

Say Cheese!

oVo

Oozing in Bangkok

Longtime readers of this BLOG know that we have had some difficulty with our driver here in Thailand. For those of you who are new readers, or who want a refresher on this issue, you can go to the archives for October 05, 2006 to see my post that day.

"Fred" is no longer with us. The consensus of opinion regarding his voluntary departure was that he did not appreciate being watched so carefully. He enjoyed his "freedom" to use his employer's vehicle for his own purposes and the fact that we clamped that down on his second day of employment stuck a bit in his craw. Does anyone know what a "craw" is? I don't, but the cliché works well for now.

Anyway, we have a new driver.... let's see... we'll call him Jack (not his real name.) So far Jack has been a good driver. He shows up on time, is courteous and has not even once disappeared with our car. That's good. So we have decided that even though we pay Jack about the same amount of money that we paid Fred for the same level of service (24 x 7) we would try to make Jack's working life a little more bearable than we made Fred's.

The first thing we did was to install Brenda into the Bangkok public transportation system for roughly half her commute. Brenda works long hours leaving our apartment at 6:30 AM every day and returning between 6 and 9 PM with most days hitting the magical 12 hour work day. For our driver who has to commute to our apartment and back, a 12 hour work day for Brenda translates into a 14 to 16 hour day depending on traffic. So to provide Jack with a more reasonable schedule, Brenda takes the car to work and then sends Jack back to check with me to see if I need to go anywhere. Usually I don't and Jack gets to go home after about 4 hours.

The second thing we did was to give Jack most weekend days off. We rarely go anywhere on Saturday that we can't get to on the Sky Train, and on Sunday we mostly just go to church and then relax around the house. So on Sunday's I have begun driving to church myself. Today was my first day.

Now, I know that you folks in the US are saying to yourself "So what, he drives a car... big deal" or something like that. I admit that it is going to be hard to explain exactly why that is a big deal, but trust me for a bit.... it is.

Driving in Bangkok is sometimes described as "oozing." A few years ago, before the BTS (sky train) was operational, the average car in rush hour traffic moved 600 meters per hour. Do you remember your high school track that encircled the football field. That was 200 meters. Another way to think about 600 meters per hour is that it is about 4/10 of a mile PER HOUR. You can walk at 3 to 4 miles per hour so BKK traffic was ten times slower than walking.

It's not quite that bad these days.... not quite. But it is still crowded and the driving habits from those days persist. Specifically, if there is room for a car to squeeze into a gap in traffic, there will be two cars trying to do the squeezing. And in between the cars there will be motorcycles splitting the lanes of moving and non-moving traffic every instant of every trip. The only place were motorcycles can't split lanes is on the expressway (toll way) where they are not allowed at all - ever.

So driving in Bangkok requires a deft foot on both gas and break pedals. It requires really excellent rear view mirrors and absolute diligence on turn signals both the ones you give, and the ones you really must notice that others are giving. And most of all, it often resembles oozing like the cars are molecules of lava moving slowly toward the sea more than the 70 mph nominal speeds that we are used to in Houston.

To make matters somewhat more challenging, at different times of day, and days of week an East bound lane may become West bound. And what is normally a two way street can become a one way street, and an overpass may be off-limits to the type of vehicle you are driving or to a vehicle with fewer than three passengers in it. And the signs that announce these changes are well… not there. Or if they are there, they are in Thai, or symbols that are not meaningful to a foreigner. And the Royal Thai Police are ever diligent to write traffic citations because the standard practice here is to pay your "fine" on the spot... in cash. Hmmmmmm. The good thing is that the "fine" is usually negotiable. The bad thing is that if you are a foreigner, they assume that you are rich and can afford the maximum "fine." One friend tells a story that he got stopped for going over an overpass that was restricted at that time of day to vehicles carrying at least three passengers. He was on his way to play golf with two sets of clubs in the car and somehow convinced the Police that he couldn’t pay the fine. “You are speaking to a poor man my friend” was his shtick and somehow it worked. He got out for only 100 Baht. Most foreigners pay 1000.

So with the stage set, I headed out this morning for our drive to church, my lovely wife safely ensconced in the passenger seat with a steely determination not to kibitz my driving evident on her face. She did well too. Not until we got all the way home did she say "Did you see how close your passenger side mirror was to that truck and that other car?" Yes, I saw it. Maybe a one inch clearance I reckon and I was pretty proud of it.

After safely making it to church, I decided to ask some advice on the route back home since the signage is not always clear to me. I asked some of my friends at church "Can I make a U-turn on Sukhumvit to get back home." Laughter erupted and snickering continued as the men gathered to give advice that ran the gamut from taking back roads and parking lot shortcuts to paying a toll and driving 20 miles out of the way just to avoid making a right hand turn (left turns are the easy ones here because they drive on the wrong side of the road.) After five minutes listening to road names that made no sense to me, I decided to just go home the route I had seen Fred use dozens of times before he quit.

I did have a little side excursion in mind for the trip home and broached the topic while heading back. I didn't quite get the idea completely stated when Brenda interrupted saying "NO LET'S JUST GO HOME NOW." She may say she didn’t speak in all CAPS, but it sounded that way to me.

All told, our little drive was 15 kilometers round trip, about 9 miles. And it took twenty minutes per leg to do it. We got no traffic tickets, had no wrecks and even parked in the same spot at our apartment where Jack left the car on Friday.

I can’t wait until next Sunday.

oVo

New Years Eve Fireworks

What a great time.

From our apartment, I could see no less than a dozen separate fireworks displays. The longest lasted more than 15 minutes and the closest was right outside our North balconies. I mean RIGHT OUTSIDE.

These pics are not great because I was running back and forth from our North balconies to our South depending on what I heard going on. I took the pics I could, but I didn't stop to adjust exposure times or f stops. Still I think they give you an idea of what it looked like here at midnight.

Happy New Year - 2007/2050

oVo

New Years Eve Bombings in Bangkok

CNN is reporting that bombs have exploded in Bangkok this evening at about 7-8PM our time. They say that 4 explosions have occured and 12 people were injured. Brenda and I were not near the bomb sites nor do we expect to be.

We have cancelled our New Years Eve plans and are now safely ensconced in our apartment well away from any revelry.

With only 2 hours to go before New Years, the terrorists would love to claim credit for our current predicament, cooped up as we are in our home, but the truth is that we have ushered in every year since we have known each other in this exact same fashion. HA!

Happy New Year!


oVo

Fish Sauce

Finally a discussion on this BLOG that might be useful to someone who reads it. I am primarily thinking of my dad who is an adventurous eater and who pretty much wants to visit us in Thailand for the food. I imagine his greeting at the airport going something like this “Hi son, where’s Brenda?” followed quickly by “What are we having for dinner tonight?” But some of the others of you might also be able to use this entry to spice up your next Thai or Chinese dish, or maybe even a taco or burger. Use it instead of salt and apply it after all cooking is done for best affect.

There is another blog that discusses the making of fish sauce in detail. That is, they discuss making the sauce in the bottle that you buy at the store. But I suggest that you refrain from reading it if you are the suggestible type, or if something someone says has the ability to put you off your appetite. The sauce is good, but the process of making it from raw materials may be a bit much if you think milk comes from bottles or that chickens don’t have feathers. Never-the-less, here it is if you are up for it.

But the trick for making good fish sauce is in what you do to it after it comes out of the bottle, so I asked Suporn (our maid/cook) to take me through her modifications. Turns out they are so simple that I can’t believe she actually showed me rather than laughing out loud while informing me that she simply can't work for anyone as stupid as me any longer.

Pour about a quarter cup or so of good quality fish sauce into a bowl. Good quality sauce should be reddish/brown and clear, not cloudy. I'm told that good brands in the US are Tra Chang and Golden Boy. Cut up two or three of those tiny, 1 – 1 ½ inch chili peppers into tinier slices and add them to the sauce. Use both green and red peppers so your sauce will be pretty as well as tasty. Mash up a toe of garlic and add that too. Drop in about ¼ tsp of sugar and squeeze a quarter or half lemon or lime (to taste) into the mix. Then stir it all up for 30 seconds or so. Take a taste and you will find that you have made a salty and peppery-hot condiment that tastes great on just about everything.

Don’t use a lot on your food especially at first because depending on the peppers you use it can be HOT. I put less than a half tsp on an entire dish of fried rice. Brenda uses about a tsp. but she likes things saltier than I do. The sauce is high in sodium and is the primary salt substitute in Thailand so don’t mess around if you have high blood pressure or anything else that makes salt a no-no. But it is very high in protein and wonderfully healthy otherwise.

Use this recipe as a starting point and play around adding some this or some that to get your blend exactly like you like it and keep some in the fridge. Suporn says it’ll keep a week without refrigeration and I expect that is a very conservative estimate. Most Thai houses don’t have refrigerators so the sauce is kept on the shelf in 90+ degree heat most of the time. But make small quantities often so you can experiment. It doesn’t take long and even if you aren’t an adventurous eater you will enjoy the flavor it adds to your favorite dishes.


oVo

Spring Roll II

Here is the pic of the "un-cooked" version of the spring rolls. It turns out that some of the ingredients are cooked, but the final assembly is simply rolled into the wrapper and is ready to eat. Compared to the fried version, the wrapper is different, the ingredients are different and the sauce is different. Other than that, it's all pretty much the same.

Suporn promises to make me a chocolate pie tomorrow. Yumm

oVo

Sa-ping Roll cooking lesson

Unlike most of Thailand, Brenda had today (12/25/2006) off for Christmas. So it was an unsual day when both Brenda and our Maid/cook, Suporn were here at the apartment. To take advantage of this unusual alignment of the stars, Brenda decided to ask Suporn for a Thai Cooking lesson. She wanted to learn how to make Spring Rolls (Suporn pronounces it Sa-ping Roll.) I have no idea what went on in the kitchen, but there was giggling and laughing along with note taking and even some actual cooking.











I tried to get Brenda to give me her notes so I could share the recipe with you, but it is now a closely guarded secret.



These rolls really are good. You can tell from these pics that these are the fried version which we generally think of as Egg Rolls, but tomorrow they are making the version that doesn't get fried and has only vegatables in it. The food continues to be pretty good around here. No Christmas turkey or ham, no sweet potato casserole, but somehow I didn't miss it much.

Don't forget that you can click your mouse on these pics to get a larger version or you can go to the Food section of my photo album.





Merry Christmas to everyone!

oVo

Chiang Mai

Chiang Mai is about 400 miles North/Northwest of Bangkok. Wednesday morning we hopped on a Thai Air flight and voila, an hour and about $200 later we hopped off at Chiang Mai International Airport. A few Baht after that, we closed the door on our cab at the River Ping Palace, a genuine antique (about 150 years old) Teak House situated on the banks of the River Ping, just south of the city.

If you have ever stayed in a bed and breakfast type lodge, you know that they are unpredictable in their “atmosphere.” The Palace is no different. Being an old teak house built in a country without meaningful building codes, we were not surprised, but we were concerned when climbed the slightly off-kilter stairs and entered our darkened room at about 2:00 PM. Was that sunlight streaking in from the many (many, many) cracks, gaps and outright holes in the walls and ceiling? Did I say ceiling? I’m sorry, there was no ceiling, just a roof, a teak roof that glowed in spots as the wood had merely deteriorated in some spots allowing a sort of back-light affect. We were thankful as we realized that we had arrived during the dry season, but our imaginations wandered to the monsoon season each time we caught a new glimpse of our perforated shelter.

Our adventure continued to mature as we listened to the conversation in the next room as if we were looking the speakers in the face. That acoustical magic played out over and over as guests arose in the morning or settled in for the night and continually as the traffic roared by on the main road just outside the Palace’s property lines. From the sound in our room it seemed that the traffic was routed just past the foot of our bed. Honestly it seemed less like the other guests and trucks were audible in our room, and more like there was an amplifier piping the sound in at higher than realistic decibel levels.

But since lodging in this B&B is apparently intended to stimulate all the senses, it was necessary that something be done for the tactile sense. What could be better than floor joist framing intervals that allowed each step made most anywherer on our floor to be transmitted directly to our bed frame resulting in a step wise undulation whenever any guest moved about their room. Not just when Brenda and I moved around, but when ANY guest moved around ANY room. Ahhhhh, what a relaxing time we had. On the morning after our arrival I joked with Brenda and some fellow guests that “it takes all night to get a two hour nap here.”

But these accommodations, lacking in fit and finish as they obviously were, almost faded into insignificance in the face of the service and other features of the Palace. The food was more than excellent. It was superb. And it was prepared and served with the utmost care by the proprietor and staff who paid close attention to our preferences. The first question that our host asked when she met us was “Is there anything you don’t eat?” I responded with my now trusted “Faces and Feet” disclaimer while Brenda mentioned curry. As a result I can report that none of our dishes featured faces, feet or curry. Quite an accomplishment in this part of the world.

The written menu was complete with offerings of fish, fowl, pork and beef, but the best choice was usually something not on the menu that happened to suit the taste of the owner and chef. “Whatever is good and fresh” seemed to be the driving force behind the culinary decisions at the Palace and none of us were disappointed with the meals and snacks that seemed to appear organicly rather than as a result of a request. And as noisy as the rooms were, the outdoor dining area was surprisingly quiet and peaceful, and a fine place to dine, relax and chat with fellow guests. Well, enough of the Palace, on to the trip.

On our first full day we headed up country to the Maesa Elephant Camp where more than a dozen elephants ranging in age up to about 36 years old live and work with their full time mahouts (trainers/caretakers.) Brenda and I are a little leery of these animal shows since they can easily succumb to poor conditions and suffering animals, but Maesa has proven itself over years. Each elephant has its own individual mahout who is completely responsible for the animal's well being. The elephants seemed happy and as if they enjoyed their “work” entertaining tourists in three shows daily. Each show is preceded by “bath time” which was clearly “play time” in the river that flowed along the property edge. After the bath, the behemoths did tricks, played soccer and harmonicas (not at the same time) and painted original works of “art.” These guys and girls are pretty serious about their art. Maesa holds the Guinness book of Records title for the largest elephant painting in the world. Each show ends with a crew of four Goliaths stacking a wall of 20 meter long half meter diameter logs by working together as a team. Impressive. Take a look at http://www.maesaelephantcamp.com/ for more about this special place.

We also took in the Royal Flora Show, which covers over 5 acres south of the city with floral displays from 30 nations on five continents and contains more than 2.5 million plants. You will see from my pics that my favorite area was the orchid pavilion. Spend some time looking at these flowers. They are amazing.

Each town in Thailand has a night market and we visited the Chiang Mai market on our first night (why not, we couldn’t sleep.) It seems like they have pretty much the same stuff at all these markets, but they are fun and provide endless people watching opportunities. I get to practice my limited Thai language skills and sometimes we find a bargain or an unusual item. Take a look at Brenda’s “antique tea pots.”

We also took a night cruise on the River Ping which included dinner aboard a teak long-boat and we were particularly pleased to be able to enjoy that trip with two of our friends from Bangkok who were also in town (but not with us) and two new friends that are here on a “no reservations” vacation from Canada.

You think you are adventurous? HA! Our new friends, Mike and Stacy got on an airplane headed toward Bangkok from Edmonton, Alberta with NO RESERVATIONS for hotels anywhere in Asia and they did it in the PEAK TRAVEL SEASON. I’d call ‘em crazy except that they were having such a good time bouncing from one hotel to the next as rooms became unavailable here and available there, that it seemed like a completely reasonable thing to do. And as we got to know them we soon realized that this type of trip isn’t even all that adventurous from their perspective. Mike has over 2400 skydiving jumps and he and Stacy used to own and operate a skydiving and bungee jumping operation in Canada. Now That’s Crazy!!! Just kidding Mike and Stacy (but not really.) We are looking forward to Mike an Stacy stopping by to spend a night or two with us when their adventure nears its end around January 5 as they mosey through BKK headed back to the frozen North. When we left them today, they were searching the internet for a place to go next. Wonder where it will be?????

So what’s our take on Chiang Mai and our “Christmas Trip?” In spite of getting almost no sleep (did I mention that each of the bed springs in our mattress left a separate and semi-permanent indention in our backs?) we had a really great time. Some of the credit belongs to the hospitality at the Palace, some to the exotic locale and a heaping helping belongs to the friends that we met and made on this “Interesting” mid-week break.

This last pic is me and Brenda setting our fire balloon free. It's supposed to make wishes come true and such, but for me it was just cool. There is a sort of half toilet paper looking roll that we set on fire and the hot air propels it up pretty high. There are a couple of pics of it leaving in my photo album so check it out.

oVo

Suam-Lum Night Bazaar

We took in the night bazaar this evening. There are several, but the big one is adjacent to Lumpini Park and it's called Suam-Lum. Pretty nice. You recall that we have also been to Chatuchak weekend market, the world's largest open air market. Well Suam-lum is cooler (because it is at night) less crowded, and has better quality stuff. It has no plants or flowers, and no live animals (pets) but if you want Thai silk, clothes, a fake Rolex or fake Gucci purse this it your best bet. Seriously, if you are a family member and you get a Rolex from us for Christmas, it is real. I swear, it is real.

We had fun walking around for about three hours and in that time we felt that we saw most of the market. In any case the offerings are not as diverse as Chatuchak so even if we missed something we probably saw someting else almost like it. And once you get bored with the merchandise, the people watching is still a lot of fun. There were lots of Farang in various stages of aculturization. Most were answering the polite Thai merchant's greetings with "HOW MUCH IS THIS?" in a voice clearly too loud for the situation. It is obviously a well known fact that if you are talking to someone that does not speak your language, it helps to speak you own language LOUDER!

We did well on the few items we purchased tonight. I am getting better at recognizing and using numbers in Thai and I have found a few phrases that reveal my vast knowledge of the Thai language. Of course I am kidding about that last part, but I did do well with the numbers and when I reacted to a high price with "paeng maak" (very expensive) the combination of my flawless Thai and the pained look on my face invarably resulted in a lower price..... and a giggle from the Thai.

I hope you are all enjoying your Christmas shopping as much as we enjoyed the market tonight. It is still 90+ degrees here every day so I think our hopes for a white Christmas may be dashed. Never-the-less we are thankful that this time of year is set aside to celebrate the birth of Jesus who loved us before we knew Him and came to die that we could live.

Before I go I wanted to let you see the "sup pen ak pie" that our maid cooked this week. Some of you may recognize it as quiche, but our maid insisted that it was "sup pen ak" pie. After three or four tries to get me to understand, she stormed over to the counter in a huff and grabbed a handful of fresh spinach (sup pen ak) and waved it at me like a green fist. Communication remains a daily challenge here, but the pie is always good.


oVo

Pak Chong District

This weekend, we took a short trip Northeast of Bangkok to the Pak Chong District where we found the Phu Pimarn Resort (poo pimon) nestled in the mountains. Our plans to walk in the nearby Khao Yai national park were thwarted by the rains that peppered our day, so we hung out in our room waiting for the rain to stop and the corporate dinner that brought us there to begin.

The dinner event was something to see. We've been to a few of these now and the consistent feature of all of them is VOLUME. They have great sound systems in Thailand that provide a low distortion experience no matter how much they crank up the decibels. This night's event was a variety show entirely in Thai so my evening was spent people watching and trying to keep count of the Thai words that I could pick out of the entertainment. Still we made a productive evening out of the whole thing by chatting with a couple of expats and some very gracious Thais that stopped by to translate a little for us. One of the Thais explained that of the three people pictured here, one was a famous male Thai rock star, one was a very good female singer and the third was another guy. Can you find the two men in this pic? Gives a whole new perspective to the “Where’s Waldo” game.

The garden area of the resort is very well done. Lots of folks were out taking pictures when the rain subsided. I took a few myself, and one that I labeled "the end of Eden" shows the edge of the property in its more natural state which provided a striking contrast from the manicured plantings on site. You’ll have to go to my photo album if you want to see that one.

On our way home the next day we stopped by Farm Chokchai an 8000 acre dairy farm that is the largest in Southeast Asia. In addition to their farming operations, Chokchai has a thriving tourist industry in which they offer tours of the farm including the dairy, ice cream factory, feedlots, pastures and "genuine wild west show." The tour was surprisingly long. Even though we started our trip at 9:40, we didn't finish until noon. Now that's a long time to ride around a farm.

We made it back to Bangkok in time to clean up and head out for the annual St. Andrews Society Charity Ball downtown. An evening full of kilted men and Irish Scottish dancing kept us out until 2:00 AM during which time we were befriended by Duncan. Duncan chatted us up and asked us how we were enjoying Thailand in a heavy brogue that has survived his nineteen years living in Bangkok. He was hilarious as he told us about his kilt and admitted that he would never dress that way in his native Scottland, but that here in Bangkok it felt perfectly natural.

Such are the characters that find us as we stumble about this strange new world. Take a look at some pics at my photo album, but don't expect any of the ball. For some reason I neglected to take my camera, a mistake that I will probably not repeat.

oVo

China Town

Houston has a population of 4 million, give or take. New York City is around 9 million. Bangkok is between 9 million and 13 million at any given time, so I don’t know what in the world I expected as I ventured into Bangkok’s China Town today.

I told my dad that I’d look for some model railroad stuff for him. Derek, my friend that I went with said that we needed to go look at the flower market which he has seen and says is amazing. I saw neither trains nor flowers but did I ever see…….. well you be the judge. Take a look here and see if you are ready to hit the mean streets of Bangkok’s China Town. I know I’ll go back. Will you?

oVo

What's in a Name?

Here's a unique concept. Everyone in Thailand that has the same last name is related to one another. And not only are they related, but they generally recognize each other at family reunions and such. Coming as I do from the "land of a million Smiths," this is a seriously strange idea for me.

The topic came up today as my language teacher asked me what I am doing tomorrow.

"Prungnii kuhn gamlang ja tham arai?" she said, which litterally means "tomorrow you will do what?"

"Prungnii phom gamlang ja len golf." I replied revealing my plans to play a round of golf.

"Ahhh" she said. "Cheu khon len golf gap arai?"

"Phom gamlang ja len golf gap Kuhn Derek," I said easily providing the name of my playing partner and thinking to myself "Well this is going quite well."

"Ahhh, Kuhn Derek," she repeated, and then "Naamsagun kuhn Derek arai?"

This turned out the be the critical question because Derek's last name (naamsagun) is Anderson.

"Khun Derek naamsagun Anderson," I uttered at which time Noi nearly exploded in a frenzy of activity searching her lesson materials and finally producing the name of one of her other students, Ian Anderson. And then she proclaimed "They are related!"

You and I know that such a relation is unlikely, but to a Thai it is a very simple matter. Same last name = related.

From time to time I run across someone with my same last name and we are never, ever related, or at least they don't admit to it. But here, if you meet someone named Joe, Fred, Bob or Mary, if their last name is Chuanarong, you can bet your last Baht that they are related to my Thai teacher. Isn't that amazing? Or maybe I'm just easily entertained.

oVo

More Shopping Woes

I have previously mentioned the difficulties associated with grocery shopping in Bangkok. It was the subject of a rant not very long ago. Today, I have a similar rant, but on something so mundane that you just can't believe the difficulty I've had.

Our maid is typically Thai. By that I mean she is honest to a fault (unlike Fred, our driver) dark haired and...... short. So I decided that a step stool would be a welcome addition to our household tool set. She could use it for all manner of chores I reckon, but little did I know the difficulty I would have in finding a simple step stool. Just to relieve the obvious tension that you must now be feeling, let me tell you in advance, I still do not have a step stool despite an entire day spent searching.

Ok, it might not have been an entire day. I spent the morning in a workout (6:30 AM - 8:00 AM.) Then I watched Monday Morning Football. You know MMF better as Sunday Night Football (SNF), but all the world is perspective and from my perspective it's MMF. But right after football, and at the stroke of.... oh..... about 11:42 or so, I struck out to find a folding step stool.

I figured it would be an easy find, and set out to not only get my stool, but to enjoy the day as well. With these two goals in mind, I headed via BTS to the Siam Paragon shopping mall. This is the place that has a Lamborghini dealer on the third floor. Porsche, BMW and Ferrari as well. When you are a guy and have to shop, it helps to have such a warm and inviting environment.

I had a leisurely lunch at the Paragon. For this day I chose a new Thai tradition, Burger King. Let me just say this about Burger King in Thailand.

Thais are a beautiful people. I can't really evaluate the men, but the women here are definitely above average looking. They are all petite with glossy straight hair and big happy smiles. (OK, not all of them but enough to make this point) But the folks you see at Burger King are on a radical departure from the Thai norm. If ever there was an in-situ case study on the affects of American Fast food, the McDonalds and Burger Kings in Thailand are that study. As I ate my Whopper (super sized) I couldn't help but notice that everyone in the restaurant except me was FAT! How in the world does something like this happen? Not only are they all Thai, but they are all FAT and I am the only one in the restaurant that is normal for my race. Go figure. All I can say here is "Run Thailand, run."

After my lunch and requisite Buuuuuuuurp.... I continued looking for a folding step stool in the largest, most upscale shopping center in Bangkok (and Southern Asia.) No luck.

So I walked about a half mile to Central Chitlom department Store. This store was my "sure thing." I have been here many times and I was certain that I would walk directly to the folding step stools nestled securely on the fifth floor near the mops and brooms and what not.

Oooops. No stools. At least no folding ones. Everyone here has the non-folding plastic stoolsbtu they take up too much room and I want a folding one. Our apartment is not that big after all.

Well now I am at a loss. I had previously looked at Tesco Lotus, the Wal-Mart of Thailand. Tesco has no folding step stools. So I headed toward home resolved to check every hardware store I found on the way.

I am home now having checked all those stores. I still have no folding step stool. But undaunted, I will continue my quest..... maybe after Tuesday Morning football.

oVo

Hua Hin

The Anantara Resort in Hua Hin Thailand is a true resort. It has accommodations to rival anywhere that I have ever vacationed which is even more surprising given that it is in such an out-of-the-way place. There are reasons to visit Hua Hin. At least the King thinks so. His beach palace is located only a couple of miles down the beach from Anantara.

But “beach” must mean something different here than at home. You would more likely consider this beach a seawall. Only at low tide are you able to see more than a very few feet of sand, and then only in a few select places. Never the less, the Gulf of Thailand is accessible at Anantara, and like most resorts they have ample space around their two pools to accommodate those who prefer a less salty dip.

Hua Hin itself is a confusing place in that I couldn’t find much of anything in the town that was interesting. The main street though town is six lanes, but the traffic did not seem to warrant such a large thoroughfare. And as beach towns go, it wasn’t particularly well developed for the purpose. It was just another Thai town with some tourist areas, and a night market with plenty of folks looking to relieve you of your Baht.

There are some good seafood restaurants along the waterfront, and lots of tourist oriented shops like in any beach town. But for me, there just was not “difference that makes a difference” in this town. Oh well, it was still a nice weekend for a Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

I took a quick trip to the Pa LA-U waterfalls about an hour and fifteen minutes drive from Hua Hin. It was a nice trip that offered a casual walk through the forest alongside a small river.

Pa La-U has two falls, the minor and major falls. The major falls is about 25 to 30 feet high, which gives you a pretty good idea of the minor falls. Still, it was fun to do the hike and get off the beaten path. I was with two friends and we had the place all to ourselves most of the time. But after we had been there an hour or so a small tour group showed up to help us enjoy the trip.

Several of the girls in this group were not at all amused by the hundreds of carp that have grown familiar with the tourists who bring fish food with them to the falls. My fishing techniques were crude, but I got my hands around several of these fish. Happily for them, they are all still safely huddled in there schools awaiting the next group of tourists and their handouts.

You can see a few more pics a my photo album.

oVo

Language Barrier

Apparently there is no Thai word for "Copyright Infringement." It's not quite the Orange and Black, and I don't think Mr. Harley or Mr. Davidson would recognize their names, but the Bar and Shield is definitely..... well.... not authentic.

But for 200 Baht (bargained down from 280) I couldn’t resist this “genuine” HD shirt found at a street vendor in Bangkok today. I asked my maid to read it to me and she faithfully sounded out ‘Haree Davidsun” across the bar, and “Moto Cycuh” on the shield so I got the real deal and for only $5.41 US.

oVo

Packing

We had no idea how to pack clothes for our time in Thailand. We knew that it was generally hotter here than in Houston, but there area places in the North where we might vacation or take weekends that get cooler, or even cold. But the thing that I have learned while here for the past six weeks is that you really don’t need very many different clothes, at least that is, if you have a maid.

Each day I kick my dirties off into a corner of the bedroom. And each morning, our maid scurries about doing her this and her that and among those things is the laundry. The result is that every day, everything I own is clean and ready to wear again. If I were so inclined, I bet I could get by with two of everything, one to wear and the other in the laundry. Can you imagine a closet with only two empty hangars in it each day? Then about half way through the day the hangars get re-populated with your shirt and shorts while the unmentionables are tucked neatly away in a drawer. It might be boring to wear the same thing every day, but it is absolutely doable.

So my advice to anyone headed this way is to be conservative on your clothes. The closets are small, and you really don’t need much anyway. Bring enough to provide some variety, but multiple pairs of jeans for instance is just a waste. Bring some shorts, some lightweight jeans (it is hot) a few tee shirts, some golf clothes and some dress clothes. But you don’t need three blue shirts and four pair of jeans. You certainly don’t need a lot of suites because it is a rare occasion when anyone here wears them. Well, maybe they wear them to work. I wouldn't know anything about that.


oVo